Most, if not all, writers experience it. Fear of the page. Fear of the words. Fear of rejection. The difficulty is knowing when that fear starts to get in the way, when if prevents you from writing the story you want to write. Not just knowing either, but admitting that you have that fear and finding ways to overcome it.
That’s what I’m going to do in this post. My writing updates have been sporadic to say the least and part of that is because I have it. Writing is something I love doing and something I want to turn into more than a hobby, but a big part of me is afraid of failing, of not being as good as I want to be.
Take my current novel for example. I have been thinking about this novel for around eight years. Eight years since the first idea came into my head, and the number of people I’ve told about it is fewer than 10. If you take the time I’ve spent actually working on the novel and it’s probably less than half that time. I have spent so long procrastinating, wanting to work on it but worrying about it will end up like, what people will think of it, that I’ve simply not been writing.
The fact is, the novel has been pretty much in a state of completion for nearly a year now. The trouble, however, is that it’s been in the nest for so long that, while the fear of writing has been overcome, I now have to face setting the novel free. I have to actually send it out. Steps have been made in this area – I’ve sent it to a couple of people to read and provide feedback and I’ve started thinking about querying; but, until I’ve actually started sending it out, I think there will be that part of me that just wants to no let go.
Everything comes full circle again when, now that I’ve finished one book, I start on the next one. The fear of the blank page, of writing that first sentence, rises again. Not least because I’ve got a number of ideas and I’m worried about choosing the wrong one or of a brilliant idea not turning out to be quite as brilliant. That being said, this time around the fear, it’s not quite as prominent. I have written a novel, it may not be published yet, but I’ve written one and I can do it again. It’s just a matter of reminding myself from time to time.
I think, on the whole, it is okay to worry and be cautious but, when it starts getting in the way of doing what you enjoy, then you need to take that breath and go for it. I’m going to try doing that more often and to try and not let the fear of failing get the better of me because, really, succeeding in writing a novel no matter how terrible is better than failing to write one at all.